It's a funny concept, avoidance. We all avoid something in life, whether consciously or not.

I have long since realised that my avoidance is primarily exercised when it comes to anything unpleasant.

For instance, I don't like conflict between people, especially my friends and myself. Lately, I've not been faced, but rather thrown head first into a situation I do not particularly want to be in the middle of, despite any assurances that nothing will have changed. Considering my recent not-too-happy and confusing circumstances, I think that including me in some sordid and unrealistic fantasy will only end up hurting everyone involved.

So what do I do? I avoid it. I can't forget it, even though I want to, but I still can't bring myself to face it head on, talk it out, make sure that everything I am thinking and want to know in return is out in the open. I acknowledge my part in this situation, however, for once, I think that it is not my selfishness that got me into it, but rather, will help to get me out. Because I know what I want, and in this instance, I can't get it, so therefore, I won't try.

I also avoid anything that will cause me pain. Understandable, many may think. But really, in my case, it has caused others a lot of pain in the process. Only a few of my friends are aware of my, uh, issues :P, and as much as they may piss me off at times, I realised it's me that I'm equally annoyed with.

Hm.