So, last night I participated in a very eagerly awaited activity: the viewing of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. And Jesus Christ. I don't know what to do but turn gay, because to refuse that lifestyle change would be to perish from the flames of jealousy currently ravaging my insides.

Those women, nay, ANGELS, are beyond amazing. Although many believe that that show was made primarily for a male audience, I must say I disagree- women are just as, if not MORE so, enthralled to see such specimens of perfection flaunting their stuff down the catwalk, dancing with those giraffe legs to the beats of the Black Eyes Peas, throwing sultry looks and cherry kisses to their adoring fans.

Oh, Miranda. You just make all the Aussies cry with pride.

And Heidi...6 weeks after you had your THIRD child, and you look like that. Seriously, I think I speak for all the women who have had kids, and who will in the future, when I say WHY, WHY ARE YOU SO LUCKY?